November 14, 2011

I Hate A Mellow Mood

For those of you who don't know me in real life, let me tell you this:

I hate a mellow mood, especially one created by a spectacularly un-mellow dude.

I was just in Wawa, buying a regionally-appropriate hoagie for lunch.  Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young was wafting through the air, stinking up the joint.

I just have to ask, REALLY?  I am always surprised when I hear CSNY on corporate in-store soundtracks.  It reminds me, oddly, of James Taylor, whom I totally hate.

I hate James Taylor because he is a juicebox.  He's a notoriously abusive womanizer with all kinds of problems AND he is totally unattractive.  I realize that describes almost everyone in pop culture, but I retain the right to be irritated according to my own whims.  I do like that song about seeing your smiling face, God help me.  But yuck.  He named an album SWEET BABY JAMES after himself, for crying out loud.  Believe me, I am crying.

Sweet Baby James?  Why not be honest and say JUICEBOX IN CHAMBRAY?

And I actually like Neil Young.  He owns buffalo, has a giant head, and totally brings serious money and visibility to autistic spectrum disorders.

But both these guys, I think, are seen as creators of A Mellow Mood TM, even though Neil Young songs are not actually mellow.  "Hey guys!  Let's have a Mellow Mood!  Bust out the James Taylor and Neil Young!"  I guess this is what Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher were thinking when they decided to ask David Crosby to donate sperm for their children.  The pro and con list was all, CON: horrendous history of behavioral health issues and serious drug abuse, balding, unattractive, physically repulsive.  PRO: musical, and a prime creator of A Mellow Mood.

I am incoherent with rage now.  I need a magical antihistamine for my ears to make my original point.  Since all I have at my disposal is a giant sandwich, I'll have to sign out for now.

INAUGURAL POST POSTED!  Get ready for more: there's a team of smarties on board with this blog, and the cumulative cost of our education is staggering.


  1. Thank you for starting this totally awesome blog, CC! I totally feel sorry for the dudes you're talking about because you call them unattractive. But I don't know much about them. If they're wife beaters, I revoke any sympathy.

  2. Good point, Lovegod. It is probably neither fair nor good argumentation to attack said dudes on their looks, which are mostly out of their hands. But that's how I roll. I am also known as queen of the haters, you know, which is why your Lovegod ways are so sorely needed here and elsewhere.

    Are you saying you have a bone for James Taylor or David Crosby? If you acquire their sperm, I am gonna have a serious epistemological crisis.